Thursday, November 13, 2014

7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Seek First to Understand


The deepest need of the human heart is to be understood; for someone to care. The best way to show you care is simply taking the time to listen without judging, preparing a response, spacing out or giving advice. Good listening skills are imperative to understanding others, but with an abundance of poor listening styles it is no surprise that our skills in this area tend to be underdeveloped.

Genuine listening is what will lead to real, authentic communication. This means not only listening with our ears, but also interpreting the body language, tone, word choice, inflection and nonverbal cues of others. The tale is often told not in what we say, but in how we say it. Understanding what another person is saying involves perspective; spending some time in their shoes. We all have different experiences, understandings and paradigms; good listeners take this into account. 

Genuine listening makes deposits into the relationship bank account by showing care and compassion for others. Simultaneously, seeking first to understand will help you grow and mature as you are exposed to others' perceptions. Whether you are in class, working on a project or with friends in the union, make the genuine effort to listen and consider what the other person may be explaining and take note of how this act will change your reaction. People who seek to understand, then be understood find more peace in this ever-changing world. 

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